Do you remember when you were a little kid and you found out a secret? Not just a secret, but a really good secret. Something juicy, just the right mix of exciting and outrageous? Well, I have one. A few, in fact. Let me tell you, internet, I feel just like I’m a little kid who heard her parents talking about getting a puppy.

There’s so many wonderful things waiting just over the horizon! I’m so excited! I have so much energy thrumming just under my skin that it’s all I can do not to run around screaming like I’m five all over again! These next few weeks are going to be very big for us and I can’t wait to share it with you all!

There’s been a lot of negative influence in my life recently. Some people are going through personal struggles, some people are looking to start trouble, and some people just are trouble. Unfortunately, people of all three categories were pretty prominent in my life. It wasn’t until I was totally overwhelmed before I said, “I deserve better and this needs to stop!”

I cut some people from my life, I backed away from some, and I’ve talked to others. I’ve told them, myself, and the Universe at large, “I deserve better and this needs to stop!” I’ve made it very clear that it’s time to take care of myself, finally. I’m surrounding myself with people who have always been there for me, who I’ve been able to count on for years, and who I can trust implicitly. I refuse to allow myself to feel so helpless again.

Justin has been so wonderful and supportive through all this. He holds me tight, convinces me it’s okay to cry, reassures me that giving up can be the right thing to do. He’s spent the past two weeks showering me with love and affection, showing me that he thinks I’m worth it. And, really, if Justin thinks I’m worth it, then I must be!

I’m still very bitter and angry at many people for what they’ve put me through recently. I let some of it go on too long. I trusted some people I shouldn’t have. I expected better of people who can’t do any better than they’re doing right now. It was as much my fault as theirs and I know that, but that doesn’t erase the hurt. I’m really focusing on letting that go. If I won’t let them be a part of my life, then I won’t let them be a part of my soul.

Now it’s time to concentrate on the positive because there really is so much of it! After a rather impressive fight, Justin and I are better than ever. We’ve re-examined our marriage, our lives, and what we want out of both. We have a very clear idea of what our goals are which is something we hadn’t talked about in a long time. (And he bought me an aquarium! Eeee!)

We’re spending so much more time with the friends and family that matter to us. Out of nowhere, we have a real social life! We’re visiting friends or having friends over on a weekly basis at least. We’re going to shows and out to dinner, with friends or just the two of us. I love myself and feel good about myself, so when someone, Justin or a friend, says, “Hey! Let’s do something tonight!” I don’t make excuses to stay home anymore. I say, “Okay!” and start planning my outfit!

I’m really proud of myself for this change. This is that final step- that one thing that I wanted to be able to do for years but never figured out. I’ve stopped worrying and started accepting. This is who I am. This is what I am. And, frankly, I’m pretty awesome.

This would be Christmas #2. Still not any easier.

Yesterday, Justin had an interview that popped up out of nowhere. He rocked it so hard that the owner only made it five minutes before offering him a job! He starts this morning! I’m so proud of him!

Some people are beautiful.
Not in looks.
Not in what they say.
Just in what they are.

Leave everything a little better than you found it.